Click Bait: Bishop’s Campaign Website is 404 on Substance

If you were hoping that a seasoned Republican politician like former State Senator Click Bishop would arrive on the gubernatorial campaign scene with a robust, data-driven roadmap for Alaska's future, I have some bad news. You can go ahead and close that tab.

Bishop’s campaign website recently unveiled his "Priorities" page, and to call it "thin" would be an insult to single-ply toilet paper (that's bad, btw). Dudes’ policy platform consists of four headers: Energy, Education, Economy, and Fisheries, followed by a few sentences of fluff that would barely pass muster in a high school student council race.

Allow me to draw your attention to the Education section. Bishop writes that "Alaska students need a strong education" and that his goal is to "turn the tide of outmigration."

That’s it. That is the plan.

I have personally written more substantive copy for first-time candidates running for the Anchorage Assembly or a seat on the Anchorage School Board. I donno, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like if you are running to be the chief executive of the largest state in the union, "education is good" reads more like a fortune cookie than sound policy.

If we mosey over to the Energy section, we find that Bishop relies heavily on a level of magical thinking that is frankly…impressive. He claims that "cheap energy is going to grow the economy in ways we cannot fathom yet!"

Note the use of "fathom." He does not tell us how he plans to lower energy costs. He does not mention natural gas pipelines, renewables, grid modernization, or subsidies. He just promises that once the cheap energy arrives via some magical mechanism he refuses to name, the economic benefits will be beyond human comprehension.

The Economy section is equally vaporous. It lists "responsible resource development" and "long-term fiscal discipline" as if simply saying the words makes them appear. It is a word salad of Republican buzzwords tossed together without a coherent dressing. I like blue cheese if it matters. Blue? Blue Alaskan? Blue Cheese? No? It’s okay.

As many have already opined, Bishop is attempting to run as the “sensible” Republican moderate, the "Alaskan first" candidate who is above the fray. But really - it's January - and there is a difference between positioning yourself as a moderate and sounding empty. I feel pretty confident saying that his "platform" does not offer a vision for the state. What it does offer is a series of pleasant-sounding platitudes designed to offend no one while promising absolutely nothing...except THE MOST AMAZING CHEAP ENERGY THE LIKES OF WHICH NOBODY HAS SEEN BEFORE!

Alaska faces a fiscal cliff, an energy crisis, and a collapsing education system - all at the hands of so-called Republican leadership. I'm not sure vague and aloof work here if you're trying to sell yourself as the reasonable candidate, mostly because we need a governor who has actually thought about these problems for longer than it takes to type a blurb on a website template.

Click Bishop may have spent years in the Senate, but judging by the issues on his website, he apparently left his really great ideas in the halls of the legislature when he rolled out the door.