Bronson Campaign Proudly Accepts Endorsement of Lt. Col. Joe Gerace

FOR IMMEDIATE 'SATIRICAL' RELEASE
August 14, 2026
Contact: Bronson for Governor Disinformation Team

BRONSON CAMPAIGN PROUDLY ACCEPTS ENDORSEMENT OF LT. COL. JOE GERACE, MBA, MPAS, PA-C, COMBAT VETERAN, DEAN EMERITUS

ANCHORAGE, ALASKA - The Bronson for Governor campaign announced today that it secured the enthusiastic endorsement of Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Gerace, the most credentialed man in the history of the Municipality of Anchorage and the former director of its Health Department, whose qualifications the campaign describes as "extensive, verified, and available upon request at a later date to be determined."

"Joe Gerace is a proven leader with twenty-four years of military service, five combat deployments, two master's degrees, and a bachelor's in both chemistry and chemical engineering," said Dave Bronson. "We know this because he told us, and because our vetting process is the exact same one we used in 2021, which found nothing of concern."

The campaign highlighted Gerace's signature achievement in homelessness policy - the relocation of roughly two hundred Anchorage residents from the Sullivan Arena to Centennial Campground without notifying the state agency responsible for bear control. "Joe understood that what these folks needed was fresh air, nature, and a period of vigorous negotiation with a sow and her two cubs," a campaign spokesperson said. "Five bears gave their lives for that vision. Under a Bronson administration, that kind of decisive leadership goes statewide."

The campaign confirmed that Gerace's endorsement letter arrived on Gerace University letterhead, that the university's listed mailing address is a partially abandoned South Anchorage parking lot, and that this checked out just fine.

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This is satire. Obviously. Joe Gerace really did the things referenced above, which is the joke.